Showing posts with label memories. Show all posts
Showing posts with label memories. Show all posts

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Tatterdemalion Dreams

It was always summertime then
And softness flowed soft jeans.
Time moved colorful flags,
They were going back to the garden
In their Chevrolets.

Everyone had the summertime blues
Except for the day-tripping dreamers.
Time swept down summer rain;
They all found something fun to do
In the upstate mud.

Summer came to an end too soon
Though fires burned in desert twilight.
The king of jokers danced in the wind;
Knives flashed, innocence died
In the Santa Ana winds.

Now hair grays, stringy in wintertime,
Tie-dye is a market for pot-bellies.
The easy neighborhood dreams of fast bucks,
The walrus grumbles in endless loop-back,
Summertime’s a cheap decal.

So there’s your dream, Americans,
In tattered rags, once flags of youth.
The promise of endless cool and earth
Swallowed in the corporate vibe;
Aquarius, a nova-star.





Sunday, March 17, 2013

Teacher, Dear








Teacher, dear
I'm sorry I acted up in class today.
(No, I'm not sorry.)
Home is not a safe place
it's where the beatings happen,
so I had to        lose my mind...


Teacher dear,
I'm sorry I came to school drunk today.
(though I really don't care.)
Father keeps forcing sex on me,
and he says that I'm a slut,
so I had to       drown my mind
(to stay alive).

Teacher, dear,
I'm sorry that I couldn't stay awake in class today.
(I'm so tired...)
With mother gone to work all night
someone has to watch the others,
and my voice stuck deep
inside my throat     won't let me say.

I wish you knew!
But the fear I hold inside
paralyzes        everything.
And I wish I could die...


Somehow, it isn't right,
that rage and sadness are the only things
left in me;
rage and sadness, hidden tears...
I'm only trying           
to numb the pain.

Teacher, dear,
I'm sorry, but I'll probably fail in your class, this year.
Education is a burden,
and home is not the safest place it ought to be,
it's a hidden world       of misery and hate
and degradation.


So, shut your mouth!
How would you know
anything I'm going through?
The places I am bleeding from
the damage that's been done...
How would you know,


how would you know?


Oh, Teacher, dear
don't keep me here
don't hold me close      I want to go...
just let me go,

oh,
just let me go...
























Saturday, November 24, 2012

School Picture


("1965" By David Salt)
Where the emulsion

Has cracked and curled,

Has torn or worn away

Lies the truth.

 

The shy boy face

The half-smile

Is the mask

worn to school that day;

Like the stiff, red shirt;

Protection against

The cold.

The true self dreamed of

Going somewhere friendlier.

 

Lonely,

Reading ahead in class

Or dreaming

Of red numbers and blue numbers.

He always dreamt in colors

Always--

 

That was one thing that

Couldn't be cured, or slapped away

With incomprehensible

Adult resentment.

 

Thursday, October 18, 2012

Cars



I don’t know anything

About the threads on a

‘63 Ford Falcon  carburetor

Or if there is any such thing.

But seeing an old Falcon

Reminds me of the one

My mother had; second hand

Even then.

 

All those cars, from the days

When automobiles flashed

Buoyant personalities

And gas was well under a dollar.

 

The smell of gas!

You think it’s bad now?

The world reeked of it

As in a former age

When the world had an odor

Of horse manure

And  sweaty wool clothes,

In my youth grease and gas

Smelled clean, like progress

The exhaust pipes puttered out

 Blue smoke, like joyous

Muscle-god farts.

 

We had Mustangs and Thunderbirds

GTOs and Volkswagens

Camaros, El Dorados

Lincolns, and Buicks and Impalas

Magical chariots, which crashed

And smashed and mangled all sorts

Of reckless modern people.

Seatbelt were optional.

Some cars didn’t have them.

My father had a Nash

Sedan with a back seat

That folded into a bed.

The gas cap hid under the taillight.

There was a velvet rope on the backseat

And ashtrays imbedded in it everywhere.

What a car! I loved it so much.

It felt safe and warm and comfy

Because my parents never crashed.

 

We used to go for rides

In the country, on winding roads.

And I’d get carsick and we’d have to stop

So I could puke on the shoulder.

Mother would pour some coffee

From a plaid Thermos and they’d drink

Sharing

From the plastic cup on the top,

And they smoked and talked constantly

With the windows all rolled up.

I’d zone out from the Dramamine

And fall into daydreamy sleep.

 

Then, somewhere in the late 70s

When everything was turning to shit

The cars shrank into soapbars,

And by the 80s they all looked alike.

Now, the ugliest cars get great mileage

And a few don’t use any at all

But, it hardly matters because

They don’t look special.

Any day on the freeway there’s millions

Muttering like cowed, vengeful serfs

As they creep up and down the lanes

Through the cities of fast-dying dreams.

No one dies in cars now

They just crumple and tie up traffic.

Autos are safer and tamer and muted

But there’s hope--

They’re all made in China.

So, perhaps

I could die like a hero, like James Dean

With a genuine American Yeehah

Over a cliff, off the railing

After all.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Friday, July 13, 2012

Fine Crystal


Some things
Cannot be changed
Like when fine crystal
Shatters on a black tile floor.

So many, many years ago
When words were unknown…

The house no longer stands
In those leafy oaken groves
With it’s funny pink and blue paint
The detached garage
Built for much older cars
And the ringer-washer, the smell of soap
The passion flowers by the back door
Yes, that’s where it happened
In the kitchen.

The glass fell from your fingers
When you pushed on my neck,
And the pieces flew across the floor
Under the refrigerator
And into the bowl of water
For the cat
And glinted dangerously
Under the cabinets.

You had to get the broom
To sweep it up, like it never existed
And never happened.

But even after all those years
You can walk across that floor
And suddenly, something stabs
Your tenderest part
And that’s my fragile life
That is so very broken
But, drawing blood, memories
Words…